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WHEN TO MEDDLE-5 meddling maxims
© Copyright 2003 Dr. Krisjan M. Gustavson. Please ask permission to reproduce.
It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it. Review these pointers before piping up:
KEEP YOUR GOAL IN MIND. What do you hope to achieve by intervening? Is it a worthy cause?
BE A FRIEND. Although meddling can end a friendship, sharing the good and the bad is all part of the package. If you are close enough to this person that they would expect you to share your opinion unsolicited, and vice versa you should be safe.
USE I STATEMENTS. Statements that begin with the word I followed by your feelings are usually better received than statements that begin with you, which can seem like personal attacks.
BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS. Be available to help hash out the details. Dropping a bomb then ducking for cover is not nice. Be prepared to help with the aftermath if you are asked.
LET IT GO. You can't force anyone to make changes in his or her life. At the very least, the person now knows that should they want to make the change, you are available to talk about it.
©
Copyright 2003
Dr. K. M. Gustavson
Aurora
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